did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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