Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
