This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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