just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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