I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
