He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
