I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
