I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
