big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
