I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
