I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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