when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Randomize
