Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
