If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
