Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
