ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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