Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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