Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
