Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We are all done wearing pants today
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
