I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
