no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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