please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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