Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
