that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
