you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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