Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
