she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
how drunk are you?
Several
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
