Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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