I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
