somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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