am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
