i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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