I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
