You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
