Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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