Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think I died a long time ago.
It's Friday. Sex?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
