At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
