Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
