i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
