carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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