My liver just broke up with me...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
