No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm determined to sit on that face.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize