This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
