What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
