DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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