I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
