plz talk dirty to me
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
