yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
