Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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