Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
