Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
