your parents love me but you hate me
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
