these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize