So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Found the puke drawer
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
