i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Enjoy the penises
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
