He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
