He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
