As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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