bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
