Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
