so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You smell like stripper and shame
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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