He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
