He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
