well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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