In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
