So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
