When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
