his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
